Flying While Intoxicated. Up until recently I had only read about passengers being escorted off planes for drunken behavior. I have now had the pleasure of seeing it happen. And what a treat it was. The plane had pushed back from the gate and got as far as the turn to the runway. Then the plane literally pulled over and let plane after plane after plane go past. This was the first indicator all was not OK. The captain then gave a "hello folks, sorry for the delay" announcement (the super chummy kind of announcement that lets you know something big but not good is coming next). And then out it came, the next announcement said we were returning to the gate as we had a "medical issue" on board. Back at the gate, an EMT comes on with 2 ground staff. A little later a woman, extremely drunk, is escorted off the plane. She even dances up the aisle, so I will give her marks for entertainment while also taking them off for the increasing flight delay. Then come 4 other passengers, including one who could be heard saying "I knew this would happen!" complete with tiaras and matching totes. I'm learning to speak pilot here - "medical issue" without giving the issue a name is code for "pissed passengers". Then we had to refuel due to the delay, or to speak pilot: "top off the fuel". "Top off the fuel" certainly sounds like a quicker and breezier experience than "refuel the plane". The good news was that we were on the last flight to the destination for the night: good luck with rebooking your seats, ladies.
Fines and fuel costs by airlines hopefully being more than your ticket price: 5 stars.